Radical Change
New Idea – national weekly magazine
Change your life in just seven minutes, with a healing method that leads to forgiveness of self and others.
Radical Forgiveness is a way to heal emotional and physical blocks and become happier and healthier. It involves reframing your perceptions through filling out a worksheet, going to a workshop or seeing a trained coach. Sound too easy?
Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle, agrees that it seems deceptively simple – but says that is part of its beauty. ‘I’m still surprised by how simple yet effective it is. I’ve seen miracles occur. And bearing in mind how difficult traditional forgiveness is, it’s really amazing,’ he says.
‘People are sceptical about it because they want it to be more complicated. But it’s just a matter of being willing to try it. If a person does that, no matter how disbelieving they are, something will shift.’
US-based Colin teaches the process through his book, on a CD, as a coach and through the tools on his website. He also runs workshops, lectures and ceremonies, which he is doing around Australia for the next month. There are also coaches in Australia who can help you through the process, and you can go through the same steps with the worksheet in his book.
Colin believes the first step to healing is to stop blaming others for our problems and move out of the victim archetype. He says traditional forgiveness is good, but it maintains your belief that you are a victim by assuming you are right and someone else is wrong, and that you need to forgive them. It can take years. Radical Forgiveness on the other hand is virtually instantaneous and can be achieved using simple tools. It shifts your consciousness to an understanding that nothing wrong took place and that whatever happened was called forth by you for your own healing and growth.
‘I recognise that this is extremely challenging for someone severely victimised and still carrying a lot of pain. I ask only that you have an open mind and see if this helps you,’ Colin says.
He has people come to him – or one of his coaches – for all kinds of reasons, including physical illnesses ranging from the flu to cancer, as well as emotional issues such as divorce, financial lack, repetitive relationship problems and sexual abuse. It is a principle of RF that if you have a negative belief about yourself, your higher self will bring into your life someone who will act out this belief for you so you can recognise it and let it go. When you don’t take the chance to learn the lesson, you set yourself up to continually repeat the bad patterns.
‘It always happens to me.’ ‘I always attract men who use me.’ ‘I never get paid enough.’ Sound familiar?
Colin’s sister Jill was about to leave her second husband Jeff, as he had withdrawn his affection from her and was instead lavishing all his love on his daughter. She felt rejected and unloved. ‘It’s not fair,’ she told Colin. ‘I’m never enough for a man. I’m unlovable. There must be something wrong with me!’
He asked her to get in touch with her feelings. Had she felt this way before? She revealed that as a little girl she had felt abandoned and unloved by her father. This belief – based on a lie, as in fact her father loved her deeply but was incapable of showing affection to anyone – anchored itself in her subconscious. And she kept attracting people into her life who would perpetuate this belief. Her first husband was unfaithful, proving to her that she wasn’t enough – and allowing herself to stay the victim while blaming him for being wrong.
Colin helped her see people are just mirrors – reinforcing all the beliefs we have about ourselves, even bad ones. He told her she could stay the victim, or she could thank him and heal the toxic belief system she’s held all her life. She worked through it with Colin and took responsibility for how her vision of herself created the situation. Within days Jeff’s behaviour changed, without her telling him anything. They’re happy now.
‘By realising he’d acted that way for her soul’s growth, she released the energy tied up in the situation, and that’s when miracles happen,’ Colin says. ‘Immediately the energy started to move again, and the love started to flow in her direction. With this process problems will just dissolve and relationships improve dramatically.’
How Radical Forgiveness works
1. Someone compassionately listens to your story (or you do the worksheet) and honours it as being your truth at that time. Owning your story from the point of view of being a victim is important.
2. Get in touch with how angry, hurt, rejected unloved or taken advantage of you feel. This is a vital step that many leave out, thinking you shouldn’t have ‘negative’ feelings.
3. Look at when you first felt these emotions, and how your interpretation of that event led to false beliefs forming – beliefs which determined how you see yourself and who you attract into your life. Most negative beliefs begin in childhood and aren’t based on fact.
4. Reframe your story in this new light. Shift your perception so that instead of seeing the situation as a tragedy, you become willing to see it was what you needed for your growth.
5. Integrate the change into the physical, emotional and spiritual bodies so it becomes part of who you are.
Visit the Radical Forgiveness website here.
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